he died on tuesday. sick in the head. while he sighed, murmuring lies to the priest that preached, while prevaricating. while his sweat slid salty, clothes soaked with the life him leaving.
send him away and the priest ceases. close the door and she stoops. holding his left hand hard. holding back, his hair grey. in the darkness of a silence. only two consumed candles, scarcely illuminating. his spent gaze. and hard white sheets of marble.
my love, i leave. trapped here inside, i die with his body. you must me forgive, i not able. to live this life until the end. to do after all that infinite fatigue of. returning what i receive : everything.
she he consoles him caressing and compassionate pain. the last minutes of these hours. the last heat he perceiving : her.
between he and her, this instant is alone. on this body my mind weighs. however your heart, a gift. given to me by your ardor. you are good to me, with this beast inside. undeserving of exculpation : the horror of his errors, i repent. forgive me. remitting for the morrow, that i here will be no more. take my two hands, lose me not. lose me not. but forgive me if i here will be no more not. only safe if. i safe will be only if you break me. solid no, i am not. disintegrated while i dare deceive, a thousand fragments. fragment on my body from mind to bone. osseous fragment of bone.
break me. break me my bone between now and daybreak shown : i die. i sleep in the suffering of hours. fragments of minutes between me and now. shatter me, smash me. the sign is rising. fragment me, there. the fragments of bone in my body. now i know the mind of bone. laments of the mind that lies, bone now alone. fragments, fragment me.
free me from these years. take from me my bones, without the weight of my body. meat that sinks, that sorrows. air rising, absorbing blood. rising : sign of air and salt. endless spaces : life. of sea and sky. january, where there is grey. where there are swarms, swirling. along the horizon, where there are no limits. salt of the sea of the air of the sky of the ether, indistinct while : but many. myriad. tears made by many, the sea deep. falling the air and the salt. they fall and they are, ocean water. they are many. we are only many. make them of me. make me become many.
and here he stops. and here he she beholds. here she he embraces : promises and eyes. revolving visage to the virtue of above. and he leaves.
and now. perceiving only love. a single sigh. and love. and love.
and now he dies.
* * *
in silence she waits for hours : his heat is absorbed by the heavy air around. she lays him down. and awaits. the cold that takes him. body hard, skin of marble. and when the blaze of pain is only reminiscence. when what that was. man is only what he is : matter.
and she begins.
sterile steel reflects the candles. approaching the skin : it severs. thin blade, fine. from forehead to nose, penetrating incision. lips split and the throat open unfolded. sturdy sternum but in the belly the blade guts. penis perfectly slit.
second slice shoulder broad down. bicep bulging and strong, but to the bone she thrusts. from elbow fold to forearm scarred. his hand is carved without effort : his years hidden in wrinkles of wisdom. now disappearing.
and again on the other side.
his legs are trunks, well-planted : infinite travels of the terra. they require another blade, thew. thighs ionic monoliths of meat, but nor under deep is there heat : only weight. amassing trapping calcium and marrow, there where life lies. there where she must arrive.
divers incisions along his ribs, one for every sin. two for remorse, still in course. around his waistline and wrist circumferences. and condensed blood coagulated drips. slowly staining.
excavate the eyes, deep darknesses : here the soul there is not. kneeling behind his head, she strips his face, leaving sole bone. grey matter no longer matters inside doing nothing. spoons sedulous and everything is emptied.
reaching his body, cold carne. piece by piece, bit by bit ahead tugging all the time. revealing the mystery of what he has inside : entrails. liquid and insipid, an uncooked calf. rude and red, spatters of black and organs internal. nothing.
nothing.
discard the heart, have done with the lungs. deflated sacks of dull color. liver and kidneys, insubstantial something nothings. cartilage capillaries cerebellum revealing : nothing.
nothing.
fatiguing until facing, finally whole, bones unhidden. the secure structure containing life. producing potence, becoming infinite. she shedding the meat now showing :
possibility.
draw the drapes, the dawn awakes. gentle daybreak strews light and the night is gone.
with cautious care she separates and sets. every bone aligned : order. beginning with the fingers, fragments of the force of life. minute means. meticulous while she cleans. with sluicing steel sponge, every detail. with water and salt, the final feat.
bone by bone, immersed in water and salt. washing away wither and sorrow, shallow memories wroth willfully with waiting patience she scrubs. humerus scapula sternum, femur free from all that meat. fibula long and sounding. red clay brought back revealing bleached bones.
bone by bone, twohundredsix times. one by one, she scours strong. from red to white, life transcends : in matter. water and salt, sea and sky, damp drops of joy. bleached bones, separate and. the man that was expands. in ether and zephyr.
open the door.
splendid sun, now is day. and outside a stone square of marble. hesitating heat cutting cold january air. bone by bone, twohundredsix times delicately distending on the ground. osseous fragment no more, now part of the world. tears and pain under the sun serene, evaporate and extend. water and salt. sea and sky, breeze breathing : life.
translation : jason francis mc gimsey
